Hi there. So I wasn’t going to blog, and then I was, and then I wasn’t again, and then decided to just do it, becuase it’s February 29th, more awesomely known as Leap Year Day, and I am NOT waiting another four years to have a post with this date. Given this abhorrently tacky motivation for writing, don’t be surprised if this post goes downhill from here. In fact, I’m going to pre-empt the disgusting disjointed mess that it will inevitably turn out to be, and dot-point it, because I deserve to do a dot-point post every now and then, and because this unusual date deserves unusual blogging techniques (although I suppose it could be argued that by blogging alone I’ve already done something unusual. Ha. Yeah, no, I didn’t think that was very funny either. It never happened. You saw nothing…).

• Point number one: I’ve just realised that perhaps the more correct way to say “dot point” is “bullet point”, but I’m far too lazy to edit, so you all can deal. Have fun.
• A community service announcement to one of my teachers: there is a point of desirable midground between “spoon feeding us the information” and coming to class and doing nothing at all. Since you’re currently doing the latter, I suggest you find it, before I go all Lima Heights on your arse.

Okay, I’m sick of bullet points for the time being. Who’d have known, apparently I am a paragraph loyalist after all? Recently in the Life of Sam, many of my friends have started blogs. And by blogs I mean actual good old-fashioned weblogs, like the rather poor quality one bashed out on a sporadic basis by yours truly. I mean blogs as in not tumblr (because honestly, reblogging pictures of hipsters in trees is not now and never will be “blogging”. More like farting out stolen content at the rate of someone with insanely special bowel conditions, with the occasional grammatically inferior comment about how unique you are shoved in the mix.)

• Disclaimer dot point: I am not trying to insult people who do this on tumblr, merely point out that I frown upon their use of the term “blogger” to describe themselves and what they do.

Anyhow, many of my friends have suddenly begun to blog, which I think is awesome, because blogging is cool, right? I’ve been saying this for years and no-one listens to me! NO-ONE! NOOOOOOOOO-ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Okay. I’m calm. Except I’m not, because today has been a spectacular day full of offensive people saying offensive things and just generally making me want to curl up in bed and a have a sob while cranking my playlist of angsty music. So, for those people, here are some more public service announcements.

• Public Service Announcement #1: It’s really not cool to stroke, touch, scratch, poke or just generally come any closer than thirty centimetres to a person who you barely know who just happens to have had the misfortune to be sitting next to you in a grade assembly. Honestly, I’m a pretty friendly person, but I’m really not looking for a physical relationship with a stranger, especially a girl who still, at age seventeen, is convinced that there is nothing one with the sentence “your such a idiot lol go sit over their”. Let this be a warning. Next time someone not within my intimate bubble of friends decides to lean over and start fondling my elbow during a lecture, I will bite their face.
• Public Service Announcement #2: Regardless of how convenient it may be, tacking a “sorry” to the end of an offensive statement does not make it any less offensive.
• Public Service Announcement #4: There was no public service announcement #3.
• Public Service Announcement #5: People of all genders at the bus stop should take care not to trample on me in their haste to get on the bus even though I am a lowly non-fare-paying student and they are high-and-mighty construction workers trying to smuggle beer on board in a rather shifty looking paper bag. Contrary to popular belief, I am also a person, despite the ridiculous number of frowned-on minority groups I belong to, and while I might be low in the bus stop pecking order, I’m sure it wouldn’t kill someone to let me go in front of them for once, or to at least acknowledge me when I offer them the same courtesy. Furthermore, year seven boys, back the hell off, okay? I’m definitely higher in the pecking order than you, and I will punch your face if you try to shape yourself like a wedge and shove your way in front of me one more time. Courtesy is not dead. Find some or get the hell out of me office.

I’m stopping this for the good of all involved. Have a good leap year day, and you might hear from me again eventually.

P.S. Will return comments on Friday, because it’s 7:13, I got home an hour ago, and I have way too much homework to do tonight. If I’ve not returned them by Saturday morning, feel free to hurl abuse at me down below in the comments section. Because angry comments are better than no comments (yep, you’re reading The Life Of A Desperate Blogger).